Marriage: Do You Honor Your Husband?

Many women still have in their marriage ceremony that they will love, honor, and respect their husbands, but I fear that with the influence of “women’s liberation”, it is becoming more and more rare to have women genuinely and truly render honor to their husbands. The media and Hollywood want to present women as strong, independent and not needing the strength, wisdom and protection of any man, let alone the man they commit their life to if one even gets themselves to that level of trust, since men are portrayed as the “oppressor” and not worthy of trust.

It is no small step to commit your life to someone in marriage, and one must know as well as possible the character of the person that they are marrying, but I believe the purpose of marriage is to be each others advocate and not each others adversary! I believe marriage should take away the loneliness we experience as human beings and help us through life’s many trials.

Here is my story: My husband became disabled 27 years ago and was wasting away, weighing only 129 pounds at 6 feet tall. He could only be up 5 minutes out of 60 due to severe back pain. He could no longer work, but a definitive diagnosis eluded the doctors, so he did not qualify for any disability for 4 years, until they decided he was fighting some type of arthritis.

With 3 small kids and having been out of my chosen field of nursing for 10 years, I was in quite a predicament! I did get my skills up to speed through a refresher course and I returned to work, but my life was quite hectic. I now had to deal with the pressures of work, 3 little kids, and a sick husband! I had to choose what my overall response would be even though I would “loose it” at times. I chose to love, honor, and respect my husband not for what he could do or earn for me, but for who he was as a person and that had not changed, though our situation certainly had! I would defend him to those that accused him including our own families.

To honor means to ascribe value or worth to someone, to treat them with respect. Men can’t live or thrive without it! A woman needs love and security, but a man needs respect and honor. Many books have been written about these very things including Dr. Laura Scheslinger’s, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and Emerson Eggerich’s, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs.

What is the end of my story? My husband, though still fighting physical challenges, is a very happy and engaging individual. He gives talks on various apologetic issues such as creation versus evolution, the evidence for Noah’s Ark, and the Bible’s literal and historical accuracy, to name a few of the topics he covers. He is not a broken man, in spite of a very long and tough journey in which the markers of success are taken from him. In the neighborhood, he is known by all and very well received. I tease him that he should run for political office!

Our 3 children are now grown and have served as missionaries overseas having started video Bible Schools and helped start an orphanage in India, have cared for AIDS orphans in Africa, and taught in English in China and ethics and morality in Latvia. They all respect and adore their Dad have successfully received the “baton” of our deep Christian faith.

I believe my decision to ascribe honor and respect to my husband, their Dad, made all the difference in the world! Not that I did so always or perfectly, but as a general method of operation, yes! The Bible says in Proverbs 14: 1 that the wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Are you your husbands advocate, or are you his adversary?

Lori